That would be a big fat nothing, folks. No running, no exercising, no writing. Motivation has been supremely low, and quite frankly, it's time to do something about it. So, rather than just whine, I'm going to whine, and then make a decision. ACTION!
I need to have a drink in my hand. Scratch that - I need to be able to have a drink in my hand, consume said drink, and not wake up feeling like death. Remember that?
--I'm not really sure how to remedy this one, other than to imbibe on a regular basis and beef up my tolerance. Maybe not the best goal. However, I think this also is an indication that I need to not get so stressed out. Work is work and it will always be there, no matter how much I get done; I love my job, but I do let it take over my life at times. I need to make sure I make time for things that make me happy and that make a life. What's that saying? Work to live, don't live to work? Yup. Need to get on that.
I want to be a writer. And yes, I do get to be a writer at work, but technical writing is a different beast. I mean fiction, witty feature stories, novels, this blog, what-have-you. And, furthermore, wouldn't this solve the problem noted above? If only everyone could be so lucky as to be able to work doing what they love. If I could just stay home and write whenever the mood suits me (which is typically late at night or after a peaceful walk, which is not so feasible with a full-time work schedule that requires waking up at 4:30).
--If I'm being honest with myself, this is not a quick fix. I know becoming an established writer will take time, and become an accomplished novelist may never happen - but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I need to start now, and make time to write - keep up with this blog, make progress on the stories I've had shelved for several years, and do a lot more reading (which is, undoubtedly, essential to the writing process). Like many things on this list, it's just something I need to do, which is easier said than done, but there's no shortcut and no easy way around it.
I need it to be summer. Summer, with me at least 10 lbs lighter so that I don't shriek when I catch a glimpse of myself in a bathing suit (hell, so that I can still fit into the bathing suit).
--Okay, so I may not be able to change the season. And quite frankly, I shouldn't complain seeing as it's already the end of January and we've barely had any severe winter weather. I can, however, get exercising again. When I had appendicitis, my no-running recovery time came, and lingered, and never went. It somehow lasted, oh, a year. Wha...? How did that happen?? Two lessons here: 1. Time flies; don't waste any of it. 2. No better time than the present to get off my ever-expanding derriere and get going again. At this point, anything is better than nothing...
...which leads into my next whine. It's the sound my scale makes when I step on it. That groaning, high-pitched, "fatttttyyyyyy..." No, not really. But in my head, it's there. I don't like to obsess about my weight, but I've (sadly) reached a point where I almost find myself not caring, until the morning when I step on the scale and see a number that I always said I'd never let it reach. It hasn't reached that number yet, but it's come perilously close and I refuse to let it get to that.
--What to do? That's an easy one. STOP BUYING POTATO CHIPS. There. I said it, and you're my witness. I have the supreme inability to say no to a chip, and before I know it, the bag is gone. And I play little games with myself - the baked ones, popped ones, organic ones - surely these are healthier, so I can eat, oh, the whole bag? Um, no. I know that I'll need to make little steps at a time, but the solution to this problem (and to the previous problem, and to the next problem...noticing a trend here?) is simple: Eat better. Portion control. Exercise. Just do it (fatty).
I want to be running again. Not running in the sense of gasping for air (
--On the rare occasion that I do work out now, the dim recollection of running half-marathons and even covering a 16-mile run at a decent pace is a so-far distant memory that I feel like it wasn't even me and that I'll never get back to that. The truth is, I can get back to that if I want to, I just need to get healthy and running again. And it doesn't have to be about mileage and splits, as I had become so obsessed previously. It can just be about getting in shape, getting toned, and being at a better level for everything I enjoy - running, mountain biking, hiking, tennis, and even chasing the pup.
I want to see more of my friends. I am lucky enough to have my closest friends living within, essentially, a 1-hour radius of my home, and yet I maybe get to see them (mostly separately) a few times a year. A YEAR! That's just ridiculous. And I am not the type of person who always wants to be out schmoozing or gallivanting with acquaintances. No. I treasure my good friends and am very thankful for them, even though I probably do not tell them that nearly enough. And I miss them!
--I know I can't go back to the glory days of staying up all night and going out dancing and drinking without a care in the world. I am far too lame for that now. Granted I may have more responsibilities and a stricter schedule these days, but in speaking of needing to make time for things that are important to me (see first whine, above), this is up there. We may have gotten older, but I still love my friends and love catching up with them. Once a month, at least. Can we start there?
I'm sure I can think of more, but I'd say those are my biggest whines right now and I'm going on record. I tend to want things and get motivated, and then I lose interest before I've even made a decent attempt. It hasn't gotten me anywhere lately, and time seems to be flying by faster and faster these days. It's time for a change.
And on that note, I'm going to work out.
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